Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

The beauty of developing a rich and textured relationship with your body is the clarity with which you know when you're not doing what you know you must. When your behavior is incongruent with what is required by the life you want, the body distorts. It must distort in order for you to take action that undoes or undermines your true nature, who you really are.

And that's the place I'm learning about these days, where it's actually painful to keep doing what I've always done, keep living my protective strategies, keep playing small. But moving away from those behaviors requires taking new action, making change in my life. And for anyone who doesn't know, that comes with its own kind of pain: fear of the unknown, anxiety, resistance to vulnerability.

So here I am, between the rock of where I know I must go, and the hard place of what I know I must release. The thing about hard places is that we as human beings develop lots of strategies for tolerating, accepting, and even attaching to the suffering we experience. And while running from pain is certainly not the answer, neither is languishing in it.

As I see it, I have only the rock, the unknown changes I know I must make. I can only face those fears and anxieties, turn toward what my life requires of me, and love whatever I find. As George Washington Carver
says, "Anything will give up its secrets if you love it enough."

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