Thursday, May 8, 2008

Trust that They See Right Through You

Change and growth can be quite scary, especially when we are truly discovering who we are and when we start to realize that we must be true to our authentic selves. When our journey leads us to the sometimes stark reality that we are not the people we've been pretending to be, it can be deeply unsettling. In my experience with these moments, not only am I often stunned at how profoundly I have cast myself as who I think I am supposed to be, but I also run smack into the fear of whether anyone will love me if I stop keeping up the charade. That is to say, if I stop being who I've always been and stop doing the things I've always done, will the people in my life stop being in my life?

These questions are a fantastic distraction. Running our perceptions this way basically creates a story where we have managed to fool everyone around us, where we are convinced of our success in hiding our authentic selves. But the truth is that most of us are just not as good at hiding the light inside of us as we think we are. It doesn't matter how well it seems that you are keeping what you really think and feel to yourself, or how complete you think the act you're putting on is. The people who love you best and are the most intimate with you, they really can see right through you. And that's because true connection doesn't happen between our facades and personalities. It's your authentic self doing the connecting all along. The shape, color, and tone around your essential nature may change and be different, but why people love you, what makes you unique and special, those shine through no matter what the wrapping.

Granted, the changes we make may create a situation where those around us are prodded into discovering more about themselves, and that may not be comfortable. Sometimes, the degree of attachment and physical structure of our relationships may even change drastically. But who you are is what people connect with more often than not, and if your changes are to let your light shine through clearer and brighter, you can trust that those connections can be nothing but better for the change.

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